Tuesday, July 31, 2007
THOUGH IT'S HARD TO SAY GOODBYE
I've known her for fairly a long time already. She didn't seem to be exceptional at first, but as instance passes by, a sweet sentiment develops in the interior of my fanatical thoughts. She thumps at my wits all the time, and whenever I see her, an abrupt tremor transpires within me. She has two dazzling, striking, beautiful eyes that viciously circle and entice mine to gaze at her. Her alluring lips provoke me to consign mine at those pink bits. Her stare puffs my consciousness and heaves me off to a place I never knew.
At once, I didn’t know what those things meant. It was plain fascination, I thought. Perhaps, I was just a pure buff. I didn’t mind the light sense I had whenever she’s around, each time she glances or even smirks at me. Maybe it was because she was much like me – gregarious, witty, and sweet perchance. Boredom couldn’t even enter the prospect. We talked like tomorrow would never arrive and I spoke the tongue I didn’t think I could.
We spent cherished moments together because we were both a part of one school activity. At first, we were not that close. We exchanged stares and smiles but we didn’t converse. I can still remember the first words she told me, “Take Care.” At that instant, my knees were wobbly. I didn’t know how to retort, I just told her, “You too.” I couldn’t elucidate the delight I felt at that time. It was the happiest moment of my whole dreary existence, I supposed.
The fissure between us was suddenly waning and we began to trade stories and debate on certain matters. She was really fun to be with and I so much enjoyed her company. My world seemed tranquil when she spoke – cliché to some, but it was indeed true. She seemed to be the solitary person I notice when we are with the group, and I could constantly remember her smiles, and her sniggers. This dim-witted infatuation persisted, and I wasn’t even conscious of it. I wasn’t even aware that all these things were wide of the mark.
I was not, until one day, when I saw her with someone else. I can’t unerringly say what I felt, but I presume I was resentful. Then I realized that I didn’t have the right to be envious, because we had nothing but an endearing friendship. She had someone else, and I realized how much she loved him when she, herself, told me the precise words to describe what she felt for him.
Then I had my consciousness back again. The feelings I had were wrong. My love for her was forbidden. She had someone else, I had mine too. I have disregarded the girl who loved me, the girl who made me feel exceptional. I had been treacherous. I realized that I still love my girl, with all of my heart. I need to unleash the emotions I have for the stranger who has made my verve poles apart. I need to let go, though it’s hard to say goodbye.
though it's hard to say goodbye..
3:46 AM
